Making peace with problems

 Recently I’ve been struggling with a lot of personal issues in my life. Things with my family, friends, mental health, loss, money, you name it. I always have been, but over the past few weeks it has gotten significantly worse. I’ve always hated these things. Well, that's probably the most obvious statement ever, but I guess to be more specific, I was terrible at dealing with these problems. I don’t mean finding solutions or staying resilient, but I’ve always just kind of tried to… ignore them. I hated admitting that I was struggling. I still do, but I’m trying to get better at it. I’m starting to realize that everyone goes through personal struggles, and its only human for me as well. Reputation has always been one of the most valued factors in my life. I put a lot of energy and effort into perfecting how others perceive me, and to reach out for help and let people know that I am struggling would only interfere with the image of myself I wanted to exist out there. But by allowing myself to play this persona, I forced myself to struggle alone, pushing away help even though I really needed it, not only from other people, but from myself as well. I didn’t even want to admit to myself that I was struggling, and by pretending they weren’t there, they only grew bigger and bigger, continuously becoming more difficult for me to manage. I told myself I could deal with them later, and tried to relax and hide from them, but the guilt and fear just kept growing until I couldn't ignore it anymore. But at this point, many of the problems got too big for me to manage on my own. Finally, I sat myself down and acknowledged all the things I was struggling with. When I finally reached out, it helped me significantly with the progress of moving forward and getting better. Although it may have been stressful or even a bit embarrassing for me to tell people that I was in need of help, it did so much more for me than wallowing in sadness ever will. I am so grateful for my friends and family and mentors that have helped me through these times, and in the future, I hope to do better when it comes to sharing my experiences and what I am going through with others, because it may help them too