The Struggle to get Moving

Throughout the day, I’m always thinking about what I want to do later. My plans for the day are often more important than my present task, and yet when it comes to the time where I am actually able to act on these plans, I struggle to find the motivation to do so. I mean, being productive is only fun when you’re not actually doing it, and it’s a lot easier to think about than to actually do it. Today I was so excited to get home from school because I had a whole list of things I was going to do, I was going to clean my room, make a huge lunch, write in my bullet journal, make some jewelry then head over to the gym. Yea.. I didn’t do any of that. Instead I told myself “I deserve a break” then went over to the fridge, grabbed a huge slice of pie and watched netflix for 5 hours. Because obviously I needed a break from the extra long weekend I just had. The worst part is, I didn’t even enjoy it. I never do. The only thing that I get out of chillaxing the day away is guilt and regret, and a stomach full of processed sugars and fat. Great. Fortunately however, writing this has made me recognize this problem, and now I’m  actually gonna get my butt moving and do my best to prepare for tomorrow, because as always, I have a whole list of things I want to do tomorrow, but this time I’m actually gonna do it. I recognize now that the feeling I get from the end of a productive day is a lot more rewarding than the feeling of shame, and  pins and needles in my legs from sitting all day. 

The point is; when all we think about is the future, then we forget that we are living in the present. I often forget that I am living in the moment, and I can do literally whatever I want right now. I forget to think about my intentions within the smallest parts of my day that often seem so insignificant to me, and yet, it's the small things that determines whether it was a successful day or not. Living in the moment can mean two different things to me; it can mean recognizing my ability to make my day worth it, or it can mean giving into temptation and falling to unhealthy habits. Right now, I'm tryna master the first one. I guess what I need is balance.  A balance between planning for the future, and living in the present to take action. And when I say planning for the future, I mean constructing a realistic plan and recognizing how I can complete it, not just make a whole list of things I wanna do and hope I do it. But now that I've taken the time to really analyze my failed day, I've learned that one good thing has come out of this; a lesson. And now I know not to inhale a massive piece of pie and sink into the couch for 5 hours. 

So here’s to tomorrow, because it’s bound to be a lot more successful than today.